Ladles and Jellyspoons & Oh, Ain't We Crazy

Just a couple dittys from my childhood... do you remember them?

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Ladies and Jellyspoons,

I come before you
to stand behind you
And tell you something
I know nothing about.

Next Thursday,
which is Good Friday,
there will be a ladies' meeting,
for gentlemen only.

Wear your best clothes
if you haven't any,
and please come if
you cannot attend.

Admission's free
so pay at the door.
Take a seat
and sit on the floor.

It makes no difference
where you sit
The man in the balcony's
sure to spit.

We will be discussing the four
corners of the round table.

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Now I know a little ditty. It's as crazy as can be.
The guy who wrote it said he wanted it and he handed it to me.
I found I couldn't use it because it sounded blue,
And that's the very reason why I'm handing it to you.

CHORUS: Oh, ain't we crazy? Oh, ain't we crazy?
This is the way we pass the time away (away, away).
Oh, ain't we crazy? Oh, ain't we crazy?
We're gonna sing this song all night today.

It's the song the alligators sing while coming though the rye
As they serenade the elephants up in the trees so high.
The iceman hums this ditty as he shovels in the coal,
And the monkeys join the chorus up around the northern pole.

It was midnight on the ocean. Not a streetcar was in sight.
The sun was shining brightly and it rained all day that night.
It was a summer's day in winter and the rain was snowing fast,
And a barefoot boy with shoes on stood sitting in the grass.

And the cows were making cowslips, and the bells were ringing wet.
The bumblebees were making bums and smoking cigarettes.
A man went in a stable and came out a little hoarse.
He jumped upon his golf stick and rode all around the course.

While the organ peeled potatoes, lard was rendered by the choir.
The sexton rang a dishrag. Someone set the church on fire.
"Holy smokes!" the preacher shouted. In the rain, he lost his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven 'cause there ain't no partin' there.

It was midnight on the ocean. Not a horse cart was in sight.
I went into a drugstore to get myself a light.
The man behind the counter was a lady old and gray
Who used to peddle shoestrings on the road to Mandelay.

"My husband's dead," the lady said. Her eyes were dry with tears.
She put her head between her feet and stood that way for years.
Her children six were orphans except one tiny tot
Who lived in a house across the street above a vacant lot.

It was midnight and the rising sun was setting in the west.
The little fishies in the trees were huddled in their nests.
It was a dark and stormy night and the sun was shining bright,
And everything that you could see was hidden out of sight.

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